QUESTIONABLE QUESTIONS
It’s baaaack. Questionable Questions. Our favorite spot to celebrate together the notion that there definitely is such thing as a stupid question.
FIrst up tonight, an email that is full of promise for your transfer class.
“Dear Counselor,
Before anything wishing you our best to come in these coming years , and taking these opportunity to kindly appreciate your kind attention to all my family when visiting (College) last Friday, and looking forward to hear from your team about all the possibilities for (Name), after reviewing his Tofl SAT Grades attach… regarding his 9th grade is coming next month as in (School name) are in Vacations at these moment, wanted also to know about your procedures iif accepted now and if you wish to interview him by Skypee we are here now„Also Please my we have your considerations if as transfer student. Thanking you in advance
My Bests to all”
We giggled hilariously for a good two minutes at Skypee. Sky-pee.
We know we’ll catch some grief for this, but who cares. International student emails are the freaking bomb. What international student preparatory program did they attend that tells all of them to wish us and our families the very best wishes for best year possible?
But for real now - did this email say we needed to do review on a 9th grader? Does 9th grade in wherever equal 12th grade here? Because if it doesn’t, were not even returning this email. Give us 2 years (we prefer 3), and then we can talk. Good luck hitting puberty in the meantime and wishing everyone you meet best wishes for best life.
Second up, a fun quip via a college fair.
“Are you a Catholic school because you have mass communications?”
Why yes. One of our majors, Mass Communication, is focused on allowing you a direct trajectory to the position of Pope. Some of our courses help you connect directly with God, while also allowing you to be a beacon of His message to the masses. It’s a pretty cool gig, really. We majored in it, and God is speaking through us right now. Here’s where you sign up. Here, have some communion.
Last up, an interesting question from someone obviously who thinks she deserves some special attention.
We had a girl come into our Welcome Center yesterday and ask to use our presentation room and bathroom as a staging area for wedding photos that she was taking on campus (like, she had dress in hand, photographer behind her, wedding party dressed with her). She apparently was the great granddaughter of one of our past Presidents, and she totally played that card when we told her no. She was quite surprised when we continued to tell her that we had tour guests coming and things to do in our office, so she just couldn’t take over for the day. People are really amazing sometimes.
Wow. Maybe she should have tried a little:
And you still could have been like:
Next time, tell her to call her great grandfather to hook her up. But chances are he’s dead. Sorry about it. Get your ass out of the Welcome Center.
Excerpts from Essays back here tomorrow. Anyone dressing up for Halloween at their campuses? Or expecting to see costumes at a HSV? Hit us up on Facebook or Twitter with photos!
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