Admissions Problems

no, your kid isn't special at all actually...

COLLEGE FAIR MUSINGS

You know who’s ready for Friday? THIS AMOEBA. Let’s get started.

First up, a rack of educational materials found in a high school library.

Let’s all be honest, here. Some girls are going to sleep, bake and craft their way through college on the road to a MRS degree. Brides is the equivalent to the college catalog for these young ladies. And who can begrudge a guidance counselor who is trying to keep it real with these ladies? Let’s all take a queue: when you find THAT girl at the fair that looks like she spent 4 hours tweezing her eyebrows into perfection to go talk to a bunch of college reps, slap a Brides down on the table and tell her that the school next to you has married housing on campus.

Next up, a ruling on the field.

HERE YE, HERE YE! THE OFFICIAL ADMISSIONS PROBLEMS PROCLAMATION:

If there are no fair representatives or students present, the ruling is all 2 hours. Want to know why? Because you earn MAJOR suck-up points being the rep that sat at an empty fair for 2 hours on the off chance you may get to talk to one fleeting student to sell your precious institution. Next time you need to take a day off or want to come late to an Open House, you break out “Empty Fair”.

Last up, we always appreciate a good use of available resources.

Hey Enterprise. We don’t need your stupid expensive GPS! And now we have IOS 6 that will talk to us! SUCK. ON. THAT. Technology and millennials prevail again!

Well done, counselor.

Caviar dreams and beer funnel wishes for a good Friday and weekend.

  1. admissionsproblems posted this