Ok. So being on the road is bothersome: it’s hot and exhausting. Bad food. Bad hotels. Excessive hangovers. It’s awful. But it does produce some of the funniest, most memorable parts of this job. And that’s what we’re here to celebrate. LEGGO!
First up, a young woman that should have known the answer before she asked.
Best response on an Inquiry Card asking for Academic Interest (any idiot would assume this means major, right?) - “Medium.” It was an athletic recruit. Shocking, no?
Maybe they meant they needed a medium jersey and just got really confused? Totally plausible.
If you were an athlete and a medium, wouldn’t that potentially be quite distracting? You’re all in the middle of a football play, getting ready to catch the most perfect spiral pass ever, and then you realize:
So inconvenient. Best of luck to that athlete.
Next up, the realization that you ordered banners that are WAY TOO big for the 2012 - 2013 fair season.
Your space to recruit is 6 inches. You’ll only be allowed to place a half-sheet size travel piece on your table, and we hope you printed them vertically. We don’t allow you to have pencils or stickers, and it’s probably for the best because you wouldn’t have room anyway. And we hope you like your other rep a lot because you’ll need to have Afro Circus skills to be able to share your 6 inch space. By the way, your chairs came from a dollhouse set. We look forward to having you!
Last up, and speaking of tables and banners, let us be reminded of the fair we ALL despise…
ROUND TABLES! DESPISE! DESPISE! DESPISE!
WHY DO COUNSELORS THINK ROUND TABLES ARE A GOOD IDEA? Here are the reasons they are NOT.
1) Our banners do not fit and therefore hang off the sides and never cover the top completely. Not cool.
2) There is no where to stand where we don’t feel the most exposed sales-person ever. We’ve had counselors tell us before, “Well, just stand on the side!” Excuse me, wench, but there is no side to a circle. Welcome to 7th grade Geometry. Stupid.
3) Since we don’t have a table wide enough to accommodate a large group gathering materials, we inevitably have one of two things happening:
a) We have to put pieces WAY on the back of the circle and watch as awkward young 17 year old girls lean across the table to grab our travel pieces, making us appear to be the skeeziest pedophile of all college recruiters.
b) We get one ridiculously awkward long line in front of the table because we only have room to talk to people individually. By the time people get up to the front, it’s as if they’ve waited to go on Space Mountain and instead get Spaceship Earth. Disappointment for all.
Any and all of these are reasons to boycott round tables! Join us in a boycott of round tables!
For our protest:
Enjoy. And happy traveling.
Taking the night off tomorrow night. Cheers and Jeers from the inbox over the weekend.