First up, a recommendation letter from a guidance counselor who needs to keep a dictionary handy.
“[student’s name] contentiously completes all her homework assignments.”
Now, we’ll go out on a limb and assume that the guidance counselor meant ‘conscientiously’. Though we could also assume the student could actually be combative, and the counselor was trying to send a coded message. Maybe the student is contentious with everything and everyone (not just her homework assignments). Maybe the student was standing over the guidance counselor watching her write this letter like:
Poor counselor. Maybe she’s just an idiot and used the wrong word. Either way.
Next up, there’s always an excuse for everything!
Discipline explanation I once got: “I got caught smoking pot in the bathroom…. but it was prom!”
OH, we forgot! Prom is one of those times where the federal government is totally like, “You know what? Everything is legal for just tonight since it’s PROOOOMMMM! Go get laid! Do some coke! Have some weed! Whatevs!”
And all the kids are high as kites at prom like:
Until the real police show up and then you have to document this little incident in your college essay. We wonder where kids get the idea that doing drugs and providing asinine excuses is completely acceptable…
We just can’t think of any examples…
Anyone out there with ideas?
Hmm. We’ll sleep on it. Maybe something will come to us.
Last up, a young lady who we have no qualms about calling a true survivor of circumstance.
When a student writes her essay about learning to “never give up” after her family’s vacation plans were delayed because of airline issues…
You. Poor. Thing. What a hell you’ve lived through. And survived! You’re a true inspiration to us all. Have you thought about a lecture circuit on the power of hope and sheer will to carry on and forge ahead? We think you’d be phenomenal with your powerful message of steadfastness. Oh, little one. When we’re home at night thinking about your story, with chills going down our spine when visualizing you and your family suffering in that moderately warm airport terminal, we just hope one thing for you. Dear God, please, please let there have been Starbucks.
Back here tomorrow for College Fair Musings.