Admissions Problems

no, your kid isn't special at all actually...

COLLEGE FAIR MUSINGS

The road, the road, the road. What amazingly fun and torturous times it brings. We’re excited by all the pictures we’ve been getting on Twitter the past couple of days - keep it up.

Tonight’s theme is: CAREERS and MAJORS INSPIRED BY TELEVISION! What will this fall bring? Backwoods studies like hog tyin’ inspired by Honey Boo Boo? Only the next few months will tell.

First up, a story about a student with high ambition and a strong sense of humility.

Me: “What are you thinking about as a possible college major?”
Student: “I plan to major in Physics.”
Me: “Wow, that’s awesome. What do you plan to do with that major?”
Student: “I fully intend on becoming an experimental physicist and researcher on BLAH BLAH BLAH (insert words I can’t comprehend). And for your information, this was my career goal BEFORE Big Bang Theory became so popular. I am the next Sheldon Cooper.”
Me: “…….wow…..”

We share in your reaction. We’re really sure that all the kids out there wanted to be CSI too before CSI came on. Just like everyone wanted to write about their friends and their raunchy sex lives before Sex and the City. Surrreeee.

As a side note, we asked Sheldon Cooper what he thought about this situation, and he thinks you should have said:

Next up, another career option that was totally mainstream BEFORE every network on television carried a show featuring said career.

@ a college fair a student walked up to me and said “Hey, do ya’ll got a meeting in paranormal?” I of course clarified, and that was indeed the question. Not sure if this is the program of the future but….

That of course should say “major in paranormal”. What can I say, admissions people drink.

There are so many things we enjoy about this. The obvious billboard in our face is the assumption that “paranormal” is a major. How exactly does one major in paranormal? Field stalking of ghosts? Guess what - you don’t need a degree for that, friend! Just a bunch of pointless video and sonar detection equipment, a dark abandoned house and/or saw mill, and a gullible audience willing to buy whatever BS you’re peddling. Welcome to the world of paranormal.

Second, what the hell is a “meeting”? Yes, we have a meeting in paranormal. We hear the ghosts gather together every night behind Welch Hall at 12:05AM to talk about what a bunch of idiots kids like you are.

OH WAIT. The counselor that wrote this was DRUNK and wrote “meeting” instead of “major”. That doesn’t deserve criticism or sarcasm! That deserves a big, wholehearted:

Back here tomorrow for Tweets/Posts of the Week.

  1. admissionsproblems posted this