It’s your favorite time to abuse the trust students put into us - Excerpts from Essays!
You never know what you’ll get when you put those random essay prompts in your life. Some tall wig, Benjamin Franklin dudes sit around a table in the President’s Office and laugh “You know what would be HIGHlarious, Jeeves?! Let’s create an admission essay prompt about your most embarrassing life story! We are sure to grow to know a student on a more personal level, while also being able to assess their ability to correctly include an introduction, story and conclusion. Also, just think of the conflict and resolution!! I am so proud of myself!” And then we, the readers who actually have to deal the repercussions of these decisions, get gems like this.
My name is blank and I’m from blank and boy do I have an interesting story. I was young, about 12 or so, when my family decided to go on vacation at blank ranch. blank ranch is a place where families go for outdoor fun, like horseback riding and hayrides. I had such a fun time but one of the most embarrassing things in my life happened to me while I was there.
My family and I were all riding horses on the trail and the tour guide was pointing out random bits of information. While we were riding I could feel the saddle of the horse I was riding start to slide, but I didn’t think anything of it. So we kept riding and the saddle kept getting looser and looser until finally it got so lose that I fell completely off the horse.
While falling off a horse is certainly embarrassing, it’s normally not the most embarrassing thing to happen in one’s life. However, it just so happens that my sister’s horse, which was in front of my horse, had just provided the largest “manure pile” I had ever seen. Now, as my luck would have it, I fell right where the horse had “relieved itself”. Luckily I didn’t fall face first into it; however, my chest was a completely different matter. As it turns out, almost my entire chest was covered. Worse yet was that, after the tour guide helped me back onto the horse, I had to go the rest of the tour smelling like a pile of horse manure.
It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life and I will always remember it. My parents afterwards said to me how proud they were that I “got back on the horse” so to speak. Sure it was funny for my parents, my sisters, and probably anyone else who hears about it. But as the guy that had to ride two miles on a horse smelling like horse manure, let me tell you that’s something you don’t forget quickly.
The morale of this story? What is the morale of this story? Don’t put yourself in unfortunate situations where a horse may shit on you accidentally? Or is the real lesson here to never recall that type of story ever? Jury’s still out.
What we do know is, again, we never support any story that includes shit. Animal or otherwise. We can’t stress this enough.
Back here tomorrow for College Fair Musings.