MONDAY MOURNING
Welcome back, kids. Well, bags are packed, and we’re getting ready to hit the road. We’re going to pull back just a teeny, tiny bit in the coming weeks. Don’t fret though. You’ll still have daily posts to soothe all your wounds. We just are having a hard time keeping up with the inbox right now. We swear we’ll get a chance to respond to everyone soon. We love the love - keep it coming. We need your glimmers of hope to keep us motivated as we shove in a Big Mac as we drive the 20 traffic-filled minutes in between high school visits.
Up this morning, an all too familiar story.
All-time most ridiculous parent situation: A mom called me at 4:00 on the last day of the add-drop period (a week after classes started) and wanted to know how to start the process to get her son who applied and not been accepted yet, enrolled for the current semester.
When I told her that I would need more than 30 minutes to get him on campus with official transcripts and scores, financial aid filed (FAFSA, what’s FAFSA?), loans approved, schedule made and health forms done and thus, since stopping time is not one of my skills, it would be impossible, she yelled at me. I think her exact words were “you’re really missing out on a great student.”
I went back and looked at his app; he originally wrote that he would like to major in “personal trainer.” I think I’ll pass, thanks.
You should have gotten it together. 30 minutes is totally enough time to evaluate a student’s four years of academic performance, get him thousands of dollars in financial aid from the federal government and verify the authenticity of a MMR from when he was 10 years old. Sad for you. We’re sure that kid is going to save the world, one bench press at a time. Next thing you know, he’s going to be on the NFL sidelines with a tee shirt that says “SUCK IT Blankity-Blank! Look at me now BITCHES!!”
Wait, on second thought, we can’t even get a quesadilla in our student union food court in 30 minutes. Good call.
Back here tomorrow for Questionable Questions.
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