EXCERPTS FROM ESSAYS
HUMP DAY! HERE’S YOUR CHANCE, DO THE DANCE, DO THE HUMP…
First up, a few very honest answers to very important questions.
Why have you decided to apply?
I’am looking for a college that is welling to give me a chance and I Fee like I well be right for this college even though my test score wasn’t so high, I feel like since it was my first test that I’ve taken in high school. I know that I well take college very serious and study hard and I’m a very hard worker and I well study every minute if I have to!
Who or what influenced you to apply?
Me myself influenced me to not worry about nothing and to just go for anything in life and I know that in life you may get denied but I know that you still have to try and to keep going and to do what ever it takes to do better and I’m welling to do anything if I Can have a chance to have a great future and I have wanted this since I was a freshman throughout high school.
Excuse us, what? If you’re going to beg, at least be grammatically correct. Me myself would prefer if you knew how to spell, use commas, capitalize only when necessary, and compose well constructed arguments on the topic of your college admission.
On a side note, how do you get through high school without taking a single test other than the SAT or ACT (we’re assuming this is what the student meant through the brokenness they must think is English)? We want to go to THAT school.
Next up, an overshare of ironic proportions.
“I’m an outgoing and hardworking girl. Also, I’m a fat girl.”
This is from a Chinese student. I can’t help but wonder how much they paid their agent to come up with this essay.
Here at Blankity-Blank, we not only admit outgoing, hardworking fat Chinese girls, but we give them a scholarship too. Your scholarship doesn’t cover your meal plan though, which shouldn’t be a problem, since, well, you’re fat. If you are not fat (which we suspect), you should fire your admission agent as soon as possible. They have severely violated your trust. Let us know, fatty.
College Fairs Musings back here tomorrow.
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