EXCERPTS FROM ESSAYS
You know what the best thing to do when someone overly criticizes you? Repeat the action that caused such criticism! As such, here’s another essay in its entirety for your review.
Title: Disney, Malls, and Celebrates
If I had no limit on me for 24 hours, I would go to Six Flags and go on all the rides. I would bring my friends and family to Disney World, in Florida. Then we shall go to all the parks. I would want to be a dancer at the Disney movies back stage.
Next, we could all go to Las Vegas, go gambling, go to parties, concerts and meet the celebrates. Finally, I would want to go to California. We could go to Disney Land, and I would go on all the rides over and over again. We would all go to the other amusement parks in the whole world.
My girlfriends and I will go out, meet some boys, and go to parties. Then after 24 hours of partying, it’s back to the real world, and going back to school. We unpack after all those trips. Then we will have to start studying, so we can keep our good grades. We could all go play cards, watch movies, or we could all go to Mall of America. Girls love to spend tons of money on clothes, candy, food, computer games and CD’s.
Then we could go meet Jessica Simpson in person, go back stage, and just spend the entire day with her. I would then buy a 24 hour plane ticket to go anywhere that I choose. I would go to fancy restaurants, with my friends, and then we would all play in the Disney orchestra band. We would play all our favorite Disney songs from the movies.
I am not very athletic, but I really like all the different sports. I would tryout for a professional football cheerleader team. So I could go to the Super Bowl, watch the game, and cheer for my team. I would go watch the World Series baseball teams that are playing. I would want to be an umpire for a Cubs game, that would be cool to do. Then my friends and I would go bowl about three games.
It would be cool in own my own Day Care Center so that I could go play and teach the little children. I would especially teach them how to play games, and how to be nice to one another. My Day Care would have a huge play area for the children, so they are not crowded. The best part would be their theatre section, so they could have popcorn and candy during story time.
I would rent a limo to drive my family, friends, and myself to different kinds of stores in America. I would want to work at a candy company and sell a bunch of candy and stuff to people. We could own a bowling alley, have teams, and we would win money as we play. That would be cool. My family and I could all live in a mansion with a big pool and a hot tub. We would all own Jeeps, convertibles, and have a theatre in the house. There would be loud speakers in the cars and the house.
We hope all our dreams will come true when are at Disney World. Also I would have my own money making machine, so I don’t run out. I could go shopping for the holidays that are coming up. I would like to be on two TV shows,” 7th Heaven” and “Lagunna Beach” and be in a scene as their friends. I would want to sing and dance for all the bands in America. For example, I would sing with Ashlee Simpson. I think she is a good singer. That’s what I would do if I had no limits for 24 hours.
To preface, we’re not getting soft here, but we mildly enjoyed this essay - it’s idyllic and hopeful in a very cute sort of way. There were some moments where we thought “That would actually be pretty cool.” Being an umpire for a Cubs game? Creative. We like that. If we were bossing this essay, that would be the first (and only) positive we’d give.
Here’s the nasty middle. As we read this, we envisioned this coming across our desk with Lisa Frank stickers plastered all over it, written in Purple Passion crayon. This essay is cute because it sounds like a 7-year-old wrote it.
Little Emily. If you had a million dollars and a whole day to do whatever you want, what would you do?
Go to Disney World! And eat lots of candy! And be friends with all those famous people on the radio! And I’d want everyone to be really nice to each other all the time! Rainbows! Hairbows! Kisses! Kittens! World Peace! Reese’s Pieces!
Also, anyone who thinks Ashlee Simpson is a good singer obviously struggles with judgment. And also tells their admission counselor that they would party for a straight 24 hours and then hit the books to keep up the good grades. Although that pretty much describes the typical college student. We digress.
The only other favorite part is this: Girls love to spend tons of money on clothes, candy, food, computer games and CD’s. <—-TRUTH (in circa 2003). Girl can major in Honesty.
Back here tomorrow for College Fair Musings. And we actually have some! Also, don’t forget about Dear Parents/Students - your opportunity to tell parents and/or students and/or whoever what you really think.
