Admissions Problems

no, your kid isn't special at all actually...

TWEETS/POSTS OF THE WEEK

First, the disaster that is a Tumblr post queue strikes again. More posts from today for you in just a few moments. It’ll be like Friday night Christmas. But we guess that depends entirely on you thinking they’re funny. If they’re not, drink some more, then come back and view them again.

We had many a funny tweet, post and message cross our AP desk this week, but then this gem hit our Twitter feed this afternoon.

You all know how we here at AP love a good debate. Especially when our integrity is called into question. We’re so glad you posed this question.

To start, we’ll make an honest admission here: Do we think it’s okay to post students’ essays on a blog? Not really. But amoebas have no feelings, boundaries, or second thoughts about the ethical principles regarding this practice. We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it now - take your issues about the ethical practice of this blog up with evolution.

The bigger question should really be: Why do students think essays riddled with ridiculous nonsense are okay to submit as a representation of their academic readiness and definition of them as an individual to an institution of higher education? The answer is that we haven’t the slightest idea. We could have a decade long discussion on college preparedness of students peppered with conversation about proper (or improper) guidance counseling, parent oversight, and a student’s ability to filter between appropriate and inappropriate.

We do not intend on waging a war against Student Affairs here - we know, respect, and are close friends with a myriad of Student Affairs professionals. But herein lies the difference: you do not understand this blog. Not even close. And the conversation we read that ensued after these first few posts by several individuals was downright ridiculous.

Here are a few for your review:

And our personal favorites:

*NOTE: One of these people above not only used to follow Admissions Problems, but tweeted at us too. I believe the word he used for this blog was “Brilliant!” Peer pressure is an amazing thing, right?*

Here’s the deal. Admissions is not Student Affairs. We care about student learning like the way most of us care about the Make A Wish Foundation: it crosses our minds when something triggers us to remember that we should be acting like a decent human being. Mostly, we’re just trying to build the best class possible and make it through the day. We’re not here to metaphorically hug them tight and decide which one of Chickering’s Seven Vectors we’re going to use to help them grow as individuals. That’s YOUR job as Student Affairs practitioners. AND HAVE AT IT. Because that is not our forte.

What IS our forte is reading essays and judging whether or not these students are best fit for our colleges and universities. And you cannot tell us somewhere deep inside that you didn’t wonder if the poor, young, helpless, exploited student that we used as a punch line who used the word HORNINESS in her college admission essay attends your university. Did you breathe a sigh of relief and think “Surely, not…?” Because if you did, you breathe that sigh of relief because of the job of your Admission Office. The job we do. Every single day. We don’t “work” with students the way you “work” with students, so don’t judge us as professionals just because we don’t form the same kinds of relationships you do with students. Sometimes, we do get those kinds of relationships - from BEST FIT STUDENTS. Obviously, a student who writes about diarrhea or throws together incoherent sentences they call an essay will never even make it on our radar.

You may not like this blog. You don’t have to read it. Feel free to blast it around on Twitter like this is the next cause you want to take on (like you don’t have enough to rally around in Student Affairs). But here’s the equation that leaves us confused:

You judge us publicly for judging others publicly. 

Hmmm. We think we’ve written about this before. It’s called hypocrisy. Maybe your professors didn’t lecture on hypocrisy in graduate school. What a shame. Surely you don’t think we’re the first to explore the concept of exploiting stupidity for humor and satire? We’d be flattered! But, sadly, that’s not the case. We didn’t invent the chicken, just the chicken sandwich. :)

The last thing we’ll say on this: Admissions Problems is HERE. TO. STAY. We FINALLY have a public forum to share our war stories, and we say HALLELUJAH! And you think we should get rid of this? We need this. We would say you don’t understand except there is a pretty popular Student Affairs Tumblr… so, I guess maybe you should understand.

To the person that tweeted that they hope the student that wrote that essay finds this site and throws a fit, we pray for that day. Hopefully, she’ll find a way to include “horniness” in her plaintiff brief. But you’re forgetting one thing: the willingness of a student to come forward and say:

“Oh yes! That was me! I wrote about them hoes spreading they legs! And prison mate 79302-5214! And how oppression of African Americans ended in the 1970s! OMG!”

Can’t wait for her to come forward. We’ll hold our breath.

To all the Student Affairs practitioners that have a sense of humor, we adore you. You haven’t joined the ranks of Financial Aid…..yet.

PS: To the original tweet that started this all: When you use a word that begins with a vowel, it’s appropriate to use “an”, as in “an employee”. And you’re not a VP, so have fun tweeting about how you would do things if you were. Knock yourself out.

That’s all the anger and aggression we have for tonight folks! Hope you have a champion weekend. We’ll return some messages from the inbox on Sunday.

By the way, this is how we now feel:

  1. admissionsproblems posted this