Admissions Problems

no, your kid isn't special at all actually...

EXCERPTS FROM ESSAYS

Good evening counselors AND ambassadors. Let’s get started because this one is a real doozy. From a Facebook follower, one essay reprinted in its original form and in its entirety (therefore, in all its glory). It  is a little long, but WORTH. EVERY. MOMENT. Try to look away. We dare you.

Title: Why I Think African Americans Are Still Living in Oppression

Throughout history my ancestors have been heavily oppressed because of race up until the late 1970s. Now days we get to go where we want, sit where desired, and be Presidents and CEO’s of companies, black owned or other. Anyone from outside of my race looking in at these accomplishments would say “No, black people are not living in oppression. As a matter of fact they are far from it.” However, they do not notice the other side to the story. We as a people are not heavily oppressed anymore but it still exists. The reason a lot of the African American race is still oppressed is because of self-inflicted oppression.

One of the main things plaguing the black community is the HIV/AIDS virus among black women. Any nuisance could blurt out blunt obscenities that suggest that if “them hoes keep they legs closed won’t nothing happen”, however the issue presses more than that. For most women when we become intimate on the level of sexual involvement with a man it is not because of horniness, it is out of love and desire to be closer to that person. Although the action is taken because of love does not make it an excuse or excuse the fact that a contraceptive or two could have been used. If it fails in its effectiveness than maybe we as a people could use that experience to encourage us to wait a little while longer, maybe until marriage to delve into the experience again and get an HIV and pregnancy test as soon as possible.

Next, we also do not have the same “it takes a village to raise a child” mentality anymore. Mothers have gotten younger which means a 16 year old mother would not have as thorough knowledge of life as a 25 year old first time mom would. This also leads to less structure in the discipline department because that 16 year old mother may not fully understand that the whoopings she received when she was younger was to keep her from being the female version of Jeffrey Dahmer. If she chooses not to spank her son and not to give him a good solid foundation in God and school like the old mothers do, she could be un-intentionally raising prison mate 79012-564.

Finally, a lot of us tend to think right or proper is “tryin’ to be white.” Just because I choose to attend a predominantly Anglo Saxon, baby Benz driving, heir and heiress university called (TAKE YOUR BEST GUESS!) does not mean I would be selling out to my people. Getting ahead is just what it is - getting ahead. It happens to be a dog eat dog world we live in and the best way to get one’s foot in the door is to learn what one’s competition in a means of person vs. person, not white vs. black is learning and surpass them. Ignorance is bliss, but adamancy about the status quo promotes stagnancy, which is one step closer to the obliteration of a race.

In closing, it is we as African Americans that choose to keep ourselves oppressed on a certain level. Either we do not evolve, stay ignorant or ignore change. If all of us come out this downward spiral completely, is up to those that are still living in it.

WOW. We, of course, have several comments.

(a) In our humble opinion, the following words and phrases should never grace a college essay:

     1. horniness

     2. contraceptive

     3. prison mate 79012-564

     4. hoes (unless referring to a love of gardening)

     5. “they legs”

     6. whoopings

     7. baby Benz drivin’

(b) We love how African Americans were heavily oppressed until the late 1970s. From then on, we’re talking mild to moderate oppression. No biggie. I’m sure Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. would appreciate that the late 1970s were the real turning point in a civil rights movement that spanned more than 3 decades. Not the Montgomery Bus Boycott in 1956 or the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom in 1963. It was definitely more the disco movement. Big hair, bell bottoms and track suits did the trick. Soul Train united us all.

(c) Anytime you use the word horniness in a college essay, followed by commentary on the use of a contraceptive (or TWO!), we just can’t concentrate any longer. You just said horniness. Game, set, match.

(d) This young lady is concerned about children becoming the female version of Jeffrey Dahmer. We’re concerned that we’re now the amoebic version of The Chief from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest after reading this. You can find us drooling down our chin sheepishly in the corner. We’ve lost all reason to hope.

(e) GOD HELP the school and the Anglo Saxon, baby Benz driving, heir and heiress student body that ended up with this gal. We hope wherever she is, she is helping your African American student population realize the error of their ways. Best of luck.

College Fair Musings tomorrow.

  1. threecheersforsweetdicks reblogged this from admissionsproblems
  2. wicked-pissahh reblogged this from admissionsproblems and added:
    fuck…the only part I agreed...“self inflicted oppression”
  3. babycakesbriauna reblogged this from admissionsproblems
  4. aidyn-spektra reblogged this from admissionsproblems and added:
    I can’t look away. What the fuck.
  5. admissionsproblems posted this