Admissions Problems

no, your kid isn't special at all actually...

TRAVEL MUSINGS

Let’s try this again. Last week, in lieu of College Fair Musings, we decided to post some Travel Musings. Because we all know the process of traveling is just as entertaining (if not more) than the fairs and high school visits themselves. We’re just a month really outside this glory period known as travel season, so let’s gear up for a new round of excitement.

First up, one of our followers spies a fellow traveler that is in obvious need of raise.

We find a lot of things curious about this picture.

(1) When is it acceptable to expose what may or may not be your dirty laundry in an enclosed space, ergo trapping unfortunate individuals in the presence of your soiled unmentionables? The answer is never, friend.

(2) There appears to be a notepad included on top of soiled unmentionables. We would never touch that pen again. Think about this moment the next time you see a male co-worker stroll into staff meeting with a padfolio.

(3) You can afford Sperry’s…but you can’t afford a duffel bag. Interesting use of your meager salary. 

(4) We’re not one to break the law, but this guy’s wallet just screams “STEAL ME!! I AM ALREADY ALMOST OUT OF HIS POCKET! FREE ME FROM THIS LIFE OF DESPAIR!” Alas, he is an admission counselor, so there would really be no point. I bet at most he has his university procurement card, $3 in cash, a handful of Hampton Inn keys (momentos!), and a Panera Nation points card. Our wallet sadly looks the same. *sigh*

Next up, a follower stumbled upon this car upon leaving a college fair.

YES. We bet the tub in the back is filled with student application files. If only students knew those applications they spend all their time toiling over, perfecting every essay sentence, begging their best friend’s sister’s brother’s girlfriend’s aunt who is an alumnus of the institution where they are DESTINED to go for a recommendation letter…is covered until a shit-pile of empty Pizza Hut marinara ramekins, KFC bags, and dripping Taco Bell hot sauce packets (all likely picked up from the same KenTaco Hut) in the back of their admission counselor’s car. It’s the ultimate revenge, really. We don’t know whether to be disgusted at the hoarding or applaud this individual for essentially being like:

Last up for the evening, the latest item we’ll be adding to our travel arsenal this year.

Ladies and gentlemen. We introduce to you the Laptop CompuBody Sock. On their website where you can pick up knitting instructions on how to make one yourself (yes, every single one is custom designed to fit your special little body), the purpose of a Laptop CompuBody Sock is to provide you warmth and privacy while you publicly use your laptop. We could see some rationale for reading applications on a plane, or your need to protect sensitive student data while returning emails from 30,000 feet.

BUT…there’s only one real purpose for this thing, right? And that is PORN. Note: Admissions Problems does not condone the viewing of porn, nor promote it as a scholarly activity. However, if you’re going to watch it, on a plane, this is the thing to purchase to make it happen. We’re absolving ourselves right now of any future responsibility on how you use the patented Laptop CompuBody Sock.

Tweets/Posts of the Week tomorrow. Hit us up here on the blog, on Twitter and on Facebook. Friday is upon us, comrades. Enjoy.

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