Admissions Problems

no, your kid isn't special at all actually...

COLLEGE FAIR MUSINGS

Today was an exponentially better day. I laughed. I cried. I wrote some great tweets. Time to have some more fun by celebrating our favorite moments from the joy that is a College Fair.

First up. A lovely couple. They are looking for a place to attend school together that will nurture their strong relationship founded on a mutual appreciation for the Confederate. You can find them lurking near the Tuskegee, Morehouse and Spelman tables asking “Y’all got fire science?” or “Y’all in the south, right?”.

His shirt reads “Her Redneck Boy”. Her shirt reads “His Redneck Girl”. Heartwarming.

Next up! I love when high schools unintentionally pay a state’s hard earned cash to put up a banner that becomes the laughing stock of hundreds.

Yes, please. I’d like a cougar. Where are they? Will she pay for my AT&T bill? God knows my university doesn’t, so I need someone to cover that for me. I also need some new clothes too. And a back rub.

Last, comes an old, old friend. If you’ve never had the opportunity to play College Fair BINGO, here’s what you need to do:

1. Make road friends. (Note: if you cannot make road friends, you are probably one of those people that takes this job seriously and therefore wouldn’t be reading this blog in the first place. I digress).

2. Convince said road friends to play this along with you. It’s easier than you think. Group think naturally takes over.

3. Decide on the prize for the winner. Alcohol is a great choice.

4. Hide BINGO card behind whatever hideous table display of majors your university has provided you to “decorate” your table. Make sure that your hidden water bottle (or contraband cell phone - you’re totally just using it to see what time it is) holds it down so it doesn’t slip away.

5. Check off boxes as you experience all that a college fair provides you.

6. When you hit BINGO, group text all your buddies.

7. Take a conspicuous look back at all your buddies while attempting to conceal all your giggles. Flash them a victorious grin. If you’re so bold, wave your hands in the air and yell “BINGO!”. Wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that will happen. That’s an Admissions Problems guarantee.

Tweets / Posts of the Week tomorrow. Holla at your Friday.

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