We admit it. Nothing incites the embers of our competitive edge more than someone who clearly and unabashedly steals our photos, logos, concepts, general thoughts and feelings and tries to pass them off as their own. Good riddance, Admissions Problems 2.0. You can’t replicate perfection, so it looks like we’re back to blogging.
Why didn’t we blog for almost three months? Here are our confessions.
WE DONE GOT SKURRED YALL.
Translation: We’re not afraid to admit it. All these articles start getting published about Admissions Problems, people are losing their jobs, reporters are blowing up our message box asking for interviews and commentary…
Yikes. We could literally feel the heat closing in on us. BUT we think we’ve effectively weathered out the storm. Or at least the first armband of a Katrina-esque squall. Either way.
We realize that we abandoned you now, especially in light of the Twitter frenzy today following our reemergence from the depths of a summer spent being somewhat productive (a practice that sits in direct opposition to every fiber of what summer is supposed to be). Summer can be a very transitional time of year in Admissions… those of you who’ve been in this field for at least TWO years know what we mean… hint, hint…
So, we’re back. NEW RULES.
1) We will no longer answer questions from high school students. If you want to know how to write a good college essay, talk to your guidance counselor. OR, NOVEL IDEA, drop an email to your admission counselor. Don’t expect a response though. Travel planning is all consuming.
Some of you high schoolers are nice kids and enjoy this blog. We tip our pseudopods to you. If you love Admissions Problems, please know in your heart that we support you and wish many blessings on your college applications.
2) We will NOT answer questions from parents. Your existence will only be referenced for blatant mockery, flagrant criticism and justification for using the F-word. And by F-word, we mean we fucking despise you. Unless you buy us Starbucks gift cards. Then, we tolerate you. Barely.
3) We will continue to post as we see fit in the following categories: Monday Mournings, Questionable Questions, Excerpts from Essays, and College Fair Musings. The general gif posts might work their way in, but if you’re really desperate, hit the “Random” button and think of those as “Admissions Problems Greatest Hits: Volumes I, II and III”.
4) You are more than welcome to submit photos, excerpts, ideas, and thoughts to the Facebook page, here on the blog or on Twitter. We don’t have an email address that we’re willing to share because one of you sneaky brats would trace an IP address. Which brings us to…
5) The preservation of this amoeba’s complete anonymity. Stop asking. Stop talking about it. If you ask, we will stop. We enjoy eating. And sleeping in a small, furnished, electrified dwelling. And drinking. Let’s not forget the drinking.
Are we all clear on the rules? We are wiping the message box clean, so we apologize to the 1,392 of you that will never get feedback from us. But please be comforted to know that we looked at each of your messages for approximately 0.02 seconds before hitting the trash can icon.
Game on. Blogging resumes on Monday with Monday Mournings. We need a story. Who has the best one from this summer?