August 2012
123 posts
Anonymous asked: I just want to say that I'm a student worker (in multiple capacities) and I LOVE your blog. The more I read it, the more I want to work in admissions. I'm not sure if that makes me crazy or stupid, or a little bit of both, but it's great!
Anonymous asked: How do I tell people on tours that no, a college on the southside of chicago is not a safe place to live?
Anonymous asked: Three things: 1. worst school mascot ever. 2. can be real or fake. 3. include the name. GO!
Anonymous asked: Is there enough beer to get our staff through converting from AS400 to Jenzabar?
Anonymous asked: I'm glad I've found your site. The NY Times only let's me read 10 free articles on their website a month and you know I don't get paid enough to buy a subscription.
Anonymous asked: All my friends in the office got new jobs and now I'm left with the lame counselors that take their jobs too seriously (i.e. they don't think this blog is funny) What the hell do I do now?
Anonymous asked: I just received my 101st email from a mom of an incoming freshman. No joke, I counted. How do I nicely tell her to stop emailing me?
Anonymous asked: As a NAGAP member I proudly support everything you say here. Thank you for the goodtimes.
Anonymous asked: I recently left admission counseling for the corporate world. I wish I could have had this site for therapy during that time.You have basically written the story of the last three years of my life with your memes. I thought I was just a heinous bitch, but apparently I just felt like everyone else. Anyway, love your work, please keep them coming!
Anonymous asked: Some of us are at a College Fair this morning at Sacramento City College. It's outdoors and projected to hit 107 degrees. We will probably see more empty water bottles than contact cards.
Anonymous asked: We all know students say stupid things...but have YOU ever said something to a student and then inwardly cringed? I used to work for a small private school whose mascot was a Camel. I was speaking to a father and son at a college fair out of state and the dad asked me, "So, does your camel have one hump or two?" Rather than noting the extreme awkwardness of that question and moving...
Anonymous asked: As everyone as already said, your blog is sheer, utter, magic. It's like Harry Potter distilled down to an HTML format. God Bless you and your comrades. My colleague and I are the two lowest rungs on our office's totem pole. We spend quite a bit of time bitterly commenting on how ineffective and flat out wrong our senior staffers often (always) are. So when I read your response to the...
pixilately asked: Hi there! First of all love love love your posts! Second, I work at our University's Welcome Center/Admissions Office and I just got a call from an applicant asking about a misdemeanor on her file and how that might hinder her acceptance. I just wanted to burst out with a Ooooh Honey and a couple tisk tisks and then hang up but I can't do that lol. Just thought I'd share. Keep up...
Anonymous asked: Dear Anonymous, Keep up the good work. Were you aware that the NCAA has a lovely chart with the estimated probability of competing in athletics beyond high school for students to reference? I didn't. Its wonderful. .08% of High School Football players will go Pro. I think its time we reality check them in the face with this. The Chart is called the probability of going pro methodology. Have...
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QUESTIONABLE QUESTIONS
Good evening counselors AND ambassadors. Let us be frank for a moment - when the fuck did it become August? And where did all this work suddenly come from? We’re beginning to vainly look back at all those days in June when we were open to whatever prayer, tea, or chant it took to help the day end early.
Let’s get down to business. First up, an ambassador provides us with a fun tidbit...
July 2012
179 posts
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DINING HALL PASSES
When I see other counselors swipe them without permission:
When I swipe one:
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WHEN PER DIEM IS REDUCED FOR TRAVEL SEASON
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GETTING A KID WITH A 1450 SAT TO COMMIT
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WHEN A STUDENT I RECRUITED HEAVILY PICKS OUR...
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WHEN FAMILIES ASK QUESTIONS CLEARLY COVERED BY OUR...
At first, I’m like:
And then I respond:
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GETTING AN INVITE TO A HIGHLY EXCLUSIVE PRIVATE...
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MONDAY MOURNINGS
Welcome back counselors AND ambassadors. And let’s give a shout out to all the ambassadors who haven’t jumped ship to the ambassador only Tumblr. Way to be cool, peeps.
Here’s a great story from a loyal Facebook fan. A little long but so worth the read.
Preface: I work at a Catholic university.
One Friday afternoon I was sitting at my desk and I received a phone call from a...
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TWEETS/POSTS OF THE WEEK
The reality of the situation is this: we actually had to work late tonight. On a Friday. Voluntarily. Hashtag, overacheiver. Hashtag, brown-noser. Hashtag, we’lltakeanipadinlieuofaraise. Therefore, we didn’t get a chance to check out all the Tweets/Posts of the Week. We’ll look tomorrow and get back at you.
We DO, however, have two very important announcements:
(1) We will be...
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ELEMENTARY SCHOOL SPECIAL TOURS
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WHEN APPLICANTS ASK WHY THEY WERE WAITLISTED
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DECIDING WHAT PROMO ITEMS TO BUY FOR AN EVENT
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TRAVEL MUSINGS
Let’s try this again. Last week, in lieu of College Fair Musings, we decided to post some Travel Musings. Because we all know the process of traveling is just as entertaining (if not more) than the fairs and high school visits themselves. We’re just a month really outside this glory period known as travel season, so let’s gear up for a new round of excitement.
First up, one of...
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$30,000 PARENT PLUS LOANS
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TRAINING AMBASSADORS
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WHEN YOU HEAR THE WEALTHY COLLEGE DOWN THE STREET...
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WHEN STUDENTS LEAVE YOU A MESSAGE WITHOUT THEIR...
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WHEN A KID WEARS HIS LETTERMAN JACKET TO A CAMPUS...
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EXCERPTS FROM ESSAYS
Good evening counselors AND ambassadors. We have to say - we proudly have an inbox full of amusing questions and comments from you. Can’t wait to get to it this weekend. Hang tight. On to the headliners of the evening: the essays.
First up, a young man clearly who has grasped the concept that the essay is a time to reveal something defining about yourself.
I read an essay that started...
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AMBASSADOR MONTHLY MEETINGS
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WHEN PROSPIES TRY TO CORRECT YOU DURING AN INFO...
On the outside:
On the inside:
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QUESTIONABLE QUESTIONS
*NOTE: This was supposed to go out last night. Tumblr is officially frenemy #1.*
Good morning, counselors AND ambassadors. We got called out via a message about how we never address ambassadors directly in our greetings or closings. Let’s pause for a moment to ponder how we define the millennial generation: overbearing need to feel included and special, much? Don’t worry - we still...
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WHEN A SCHOOL TELLS ME THEY ONLY HAVE VISITS...
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WHEN A STUDENT ADMITTED OFF THE WAITLIST ASKS...
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WHEN YOU SEE VISITORS LOST ON CAMPUS
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ADMISSION DECISION APPEALS
Students are like:
And I’m like:
Anonymous asked: I think the people who obsess about word choice and grammar should make room in their boat for "PC police" and people who don't understand satire. However, the collective weight of their self importance may cause them to sink. Let's all contemplate that potential loss to society with a moment of silence. Please continue to make our lives a better place.
Anonymous asked: Why is it the kids who ask if your school has football are the one's who couldn't punch their way out a wet paper bag? Yeah buddy, your 150lb frame qualifies you to start on a Div I offensive line. Oh what? You didn't play in high school, well in that case get that kid a scholarship.
Anonymous asked: This blog is hilarious! Do you organize or have any part of the planning of conferences? Anything with an ACAC in it? If so I'd love to be a part!
Anonymous asked: I just wanted you to know... you and your blog make me okay with my life... lol
Anonymous asked: Hi! Have you worked in admissions before at another college, or is your current place of employment your only one? And do you think you might work for a different university in the future? I know each school probably has its own set of problems and I was just wondering if you'd experienced that in the past and/or if you'd want to in the future (switching to another college). Thanks for...
Anonymous asked: Knowing you use your office time so well, I have an idea for a contest: "Most Productive Use of Office Time" My own submissions- completing Legends of Zelda on an NES simulator, watching the entire series of Dexter, Breaking Bad, and Spartacus (thank you Netflix), and building a 1,400+ piece Lego Hogwarts Castle. Yes, I know I'm a nerd, and yes, I have a lot of time on my hands.
Anonymous asked: What would you say to parents who are pissed about their student not receiving a scholarship (you know the 2.5 student who aspires to be a doctor), but they don't qualify for financial aid (after they pull up in a BMW)?
ytsop22 asked: Two things: I hope this gets made into a movie one day. It most definitely will be shown the IACAC conference...2. I once had a student ask if they could fax me their deposit...I didn't quite understand that one, but hey, that's the youth of America for you. Can't wait for more good stuff on the blog... god speed
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USA TODAY COLLEGE
Last week, we had our first college President Twitter follower. And then USA Today College started following on Twitter. And conversed with us (albeit in 140 characters or less). We love all of you tremendously, but this is sort of like our goal of getting Gordon Gee to follow us coming true (without the whole Gordon Gee following us part…). We feel oddly delighted and giddy for no apparent...
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RUNNING LATE FOR A HS VISIT
