When was the last time we posted on here? Was that really Thanksgiving? REALLY? When was November? FOUR MONTHS AGO? The hell, you say.
Anyone else drowning in application reading?
Anyone else sick of horrible essays? We can barely get through the first sentence anymore without taking a photo of the first line or extracting some obscure quote and emailing it out to all our friends - admissions-related or not. We’ve started to learn that muggles find Excerpts from Essays just as entertaining as us witches and wizards.
But we know we can always lean on all of you. Because you understand our plight. After a night of mind-numbing essays, we can’t process anything witty or funny. We do our best to stumble around our humble petri dish angrily grunting monosyllabic needs:
Let’s collectively make a list of all the dumbest essay topics of this season! Replies turned on for a limited time for our collective entertainment!
It’s not Friday through Tuesday, but you still get the picture.
Today, we’re thankful for:
Loyal readers and followers. Thanks for sticking with us and understanding what this blog is all about.
Great applicants who are worthy of admissions.
Parents who are NOT annoying (note: these parents are as elusive as Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster combined).
Essays that are less than a page long but actually interesting.
Schools that run on semesters and have easy-to-read transcripts.
Hampton Inn Heavenly Beds and the Hilton brand.
Our amoebic families and friends that still have no idea that we write this blog but don’t shun or criticize us when we’re tucked behind our phones and computers during evenings and weekends. Luckily, they just think we’re working (insert hysterical laughter here).
We wish all of you a very happy Thanksgiving. Overall, we hope you remember the most special part of today - sheer consumerism. For those of us with small bank accounts and big ambition, Black Friday is manna from heaven. Throw an elbow if you have to,
Amoebas. Good luck out there.
THINGS WE WISH WE KNEW BEFORE BECOMING AN ADMISSION OFFICER
This fall has been a season of real reflection. The last time we made a comeback, it didn’t take ten minutes before some douche on Twitter criticized us for being part of the problem instead of the solution (again).
We know, we know. You all love us. And it took several months for us to realize Admissions Problems needs to be a priority. Grousing about people brings us great joy and delight. Note: We learned the word “grousing” from an essay this fall. Grousing, FTW.
Let’s start over if we can.
Hello, we’re Admissions Problems. Our life is cross between Fight Club and the Devil Wears Prada without the great salary, outlet for aggression, free clothes or support groups. What we’re left with is bitchy people, a heinous leadership team, IKEA furniture and a great deal of time spent bleary-eyed on airplanes. We like Hilton Diamond status, harsh application readers, proper grammar and bartenders that pour doubles without being prompted to do so.
Over the past few months, we’d still check messages here on the blog, and we’re continually fascinated by the number of college seniors considering a career in this field. Add to that their desire to seek advice from Admissions Problems. Hilarity ensues.
For all the seniors out there thinking about a career in Admissions (and for those of us that just want to reflect), this is for you.
THE TOP 5 THINGS WE WISH WE KNEW BEFORE BECOMING AN ADMISSION OFFICER
5. Taking (and passing) Statistics is key. Well, shit. Who knew so much of this career would be looking at reports and analyzing data? What was the conversation and yield rate in this territory last year? What if we meet 50% of their need versus 75%? Where is the EPS report telling us the out-of-state mobility rate for students in the 1250-1350 band who have a household income of $100,000+? WTF. There are absolutely days we sit in our office trying to predict what will happen in our territory like:
But all we can come up with is:
Don’t say you weren’t warned.
4. How to properly fold a bed sheet will keep you sane.
Ours is the one on the right. It took 45 minutes to fold it like that.
If you can’t fold a bed sheet, you can’t fold a table banner. And this skill is necessary and essential to your well-being during travel season. Believe us, your leadership team will say they are going to purchase you a polyester banner because it will resist stains, won’t wrinkle, blah, blah, blah. It’s really because those banners are dirt cheap, and it’s entertaining watching you try to fold it.
Imagine trying to steer a herd of small kittens hyped up on catnip into a pen with a large pack of snarling wolves protecting the gate. That’s what it’s like trying to fold a super-slippery cheap ass polyester table banner. As soon as you get one end folded, the other has already slipped off the table and is pooling on the floor. A nearby table of veteran admission counselors starts to snicker. Maybe one offers to help you. As if you aren’t sweaty enough, you feel the heat start to rise inside your jacket, and you instead choose to ball that piece of shit up, shove it into your travel bag and run out of the high school gym cursing obscenities under your breath at that inanimate pain-in-the-ass. After all, it’s not supposed to wrinkle.
And what happens the next day? You get to your visit, having let go of all the anger and frustration from the previous evening, pull out the banner and…
3. Having parents who cook well will destroy you. We luckily had a mother who cooked almost every single night growing up. We’re not talking beanie-weenies and macaroni casserole. Legitimate meals. Restaurant-esque meals. Meals we bragged about for years to friends, significant others, anyone who would listen. College and the lack of edible food was an incredibly tough adjustment. When we graduated from college and took our first full-time job in the Admission Office, we thought we were home-free. Promised Land, We Are Home. Bring on the high quality meals.
Fast forward to our first travel season. Growing up, “soup and sandwich night” was not a thing in our house. So imagine our surprise when “soup and sandwich night” became a thing FOR THREE STRAIGHT MONTHS. We’d walk into a fair, see the familiar unclothed table with unmarked, white cardboard boxes and stark, unimaginative signs proclaiming that one stack was “Turkey” and the next was “Beef”.
Those dreary signs weren’t lying - we had to adjust to two pieces of cold bread with some lukewarm magazine-thick turkey being how we defined “dinner”. Exciting days were when we received a tomato slice or lettuce. Even better days were when the tomato and lettuce were edible. We’re glad to show you the drug store receipts from our first travel season: anyone who invested in Proctor & Gambel (therefore indirectly investing in Pepto Bismol) probably noticed a little spike in their portfolio. You’re so welcome.
We love you, mother amoeba. But damn you for not taking us dumpster-diving for din-din at least a few times in our life.
2. A thick skin in necessary. You would think this is one of those inspirational jobs where you get to see the tangible results of your hard work. And, in some cases or at particular colleges or universities, you do. Getting there is the issue.
A job as an Admission Officer puts up with an inordinate amount of bullshit. Please see admissionsproblems.tumblr.com for more information and real life examples. There are days where you’ll want to cut perfect strangers and, conversely, bear-hug others that show you just a little bit of common decency. It’s a manic job.
Everyone going into this field needs to have the following pep talk provided to them by the most jaded person in their new office:
There are days you’ll want to quit. There are days when you’ll want to punch a parent, student, guidance counselor, rental car agent, hotel manager, or barista who fucked up your morning latte straight in the face. There are days when performing a root canal on yourself will sound more appealing than making idle conversation with anyone, let alone prospective students and their obnoxious parents, but put on a moderately happy face to get through it. You can always pretend you have to vomit unexpectedly if you need an easy out on a conversation/high school visit/college fair. You’ll have moments where your GPS will lead you for the umpteen time into an abandoned alley, and you’ll consider getting out of the car, setting up a tent and starting a new life in that alley. You’ll have moments where you simply can’t read another application without feeling the overwhelming need to weep for the future of this country and global community. You’ll consider cracking your personal checkbook open to cover a student’s financial gap just to get the most fucking annoying mother ever to stop calling you. Speaking of, never, under any circumstances, check your online bank account unless you ready to accept the reality that you have no money. At the end of the year, you will have poured your heart and soul into thousands of kids, and they will choose to go to other colleges. And you have to let them go. The only thing that keeps all of us hanging on is alcohol. So, here’s a bottle of Jack. Drink up, newbie.
1. Take an effing ridiculously awesome driver’s license photo.
Do any of you realize how much that photo is used and displayed as an Admission Officer? Since our home state is comprised of a bunch of tight-wadded politicians that refuse to appropriate funding to government offices like the DMV, we still have the same driver’s license photo that we originally took at the ripe age of 16. Imagine going into a high school visit with your teen self - braces, Student Council tee shirt, making that goofy-happy “I JUST GOT MY LICENSE, BITCHES!!” face - plastered on a sticker. Then imagine prominently displaying that shit on your suit lapel.
You embarrassing, vile, wicked piece of evil.
Depending on the number of high schools you visit that use Raptor or Lobby Monitor, you’ll collect dozens of these stickers. You’ll be required to wear them during your entire visit. Forget trying to put them on your bag, arm, pant leg, side of shoe, back of neck. We’ve tried it all to no avail.
Take our advice: you better look like effing Beyoncé in that photo, or it’s time to start considering a new career.
Now, on to the real question at hand. We’re not committing to posting daily, but we’ll do as much as we can. We’ll start checking Twitter and Facebook again regularly as well. We are considering taking on an intern to assist. Inquire within. Here’s to Friday, amoebas.
I'm inwardly terrified of not being accepted by my dream schools this winter, I will grudgingly admit that I'm semi-glad you and your judgments are the face of this blog. Something I try to live by: not making an exception of myself. Your words are the slap back to reality that every teenager I know needs.
We said we wouldn’t post anything from high schoolers, but THIS.
During our staff's annual meeting with the science and math department to get our 'elevator speech' for travel season, the dean of the department thanked us for putting up with the heaps of shit to find those few diamonds. He hadn't realized what we dealt with until discovering AP! Thank you, oh great amoeba!
It’s nice to know some deans get it. Thanks for reading and sharing.
You have no idea what Hell is. You think your job is Hell? Fuck no. Having an autoimmune disease is Hell. Visiting three doctors a week is Hell. Taking nine pills in the morning is Hell. Oh and the side effects! Having prednisone is HELL. You dont even know the meaning of the word. Stop pretending that your life is shit. Do you wake up every morning feeling like someone beat the living shit out of you? No? Do you have to go to high school too and take AP? No? Well then STOP FUCKING COMPLAINING!
Thank you so much, reader, for your thoughtful comment. Sadly, we do have a terrible, ailing, crippling, disabling disease, and…
On a side note, we sometimes take nine pills in the morning too. But we think the outcome for us is clearly more enjoyable.
Best of luck in your upcoming AP exams this year. Maybe if you email College Board describing all your symptoms, they’ll just give you all 5s because your life is, you know, so hard. OH WAIT, College Board doesn’t give a shit because then they’d have to give a shit about everyone.
Everyone’s life is hard. Just different kinds of hard. Grow the fuck up.
No question, just a simple statement to any high school guidance counselors that read this. Please, use an online calendar for admissions counselors to schedule high school visits so we are not glued to our phones for three weeks. Most of you don't like talking to us on the phone anyway so it's a win, win.
It was bound to happen. We were just so used to not having to blog anymore, and it’s really fallen off our priority list. Between travel, dealing with the return of students to school, preparing to leave our small homestead for two months… you get the picture.
Nevertheless, we want to make it up to you. This won’t be consistent, and we’re still trying to find a good balance (or a free weekend to catch up on things).
Countdown to travel season: 11 days. Prepare yourselves.
As we have many new admission counselors among our profession preparing for their first travel season, we know one of the key questions all the newsies ask is “What do we wear to a college fair? Suit? Institutional polo and khakis?”
And the answer is…
Shredded shirt, red bra, blue tube top, fat roll, more tube top, patterned leggings, some sort of socks, and slouch boots. And by all means, pull your hair up off your neck to accent the fact that you’re pinky locked with the chick next to you. This is a purely professional look that says “I like colors and acting like I don’t care, so can you please point me in the direction of the Art Institute?”.
So, you’re sitting at your table at a fair thinking everything is going well. You’re meeting students, explaining your overly complicated travel materials produced by a marketing department that wouldn’t deign to ever carry their own brochure by the hundreds in a suitcase all over the damn country. You feel pretty good about yourself. As a reward, you allow yourself a restroom break. And then you see this post-hand washing.
WHAT. THE. FUCK. That’s like $100 worth of travel materials. And we still have sore biceps from lugging the boxes of those heavy pieces of shit into a college fair. And some little asshole throws them away? We’re throwing your application away, therefore your future as well.
Last up, not a college fair but feedback that provides us amusement nonetheless.
Oh, we’re so sorry. If you need more money towards TUITION, you should probably look into our merit scholarships. However, most of them require that you can SPELL TUITION. Just a starting point.
Back on Monday with Monday Mournings. If we have time, we can get to some questions from the inbox… there are 4 questions already from this week. The snowball begins.
Essays really are the gem of this job. Forget the bottomless Panera cookies (“Yes, I WILL take a 99 cent bakery item!”). Those big flower cookies with the neon icing just don’t even compare with the goodness that can be uncovered from the depths of an application. Even if you eat 12 of them in a single afternoon.
Noteworthy of all three of our excerpts today: they came from the same student! Three excerpts, one nincompoop.
"I’ve always believed to give kindness to people that deserve it. For example, I met my girlfriend’s parents earlier this year. First of all, I’ve never meet these people before, so they deserve my respect and kindness right there, also because they do not have to let me date their daughter. They are giving me permission to date her and through that they deserve my respect. The way I gauge who deserves respect and who doesn’t is simply one: if I haven’t meet them, they get kindness. Two: if they are a decent person who doesn’t bother me, they get kindness; simple as that."
Well, he definitely got the simple part right. Call us predictable, but we clearly do not subscribe to this young man’s philosophy that every person you’ve never met deserves kindness and respect. So, he already lost us there. But, if we know 18 year old boys (and WE DO), he more than likely wants to spread an incredibly thick layer of kindness and respect all over his girlfriend’s parents so they don’t realize he’s also trying to finger her behind the football bleachers every Friday night. Simple as that.
Next up from Romeo, a deeper look into his soul that makes him the lover of all things kind and respect.
This next relationship I’m not so proud of but I am thankful of it. It was my first girlfriend _____. She was an interesting person and she made the relationship interesting and I’ll leave it at that. However she taught that there are people out there that will use you. She made me grow up and realize that life is complicated and the way you deal with it is how your life is defined.
"She made the relationship interesting and I’ll leave it at that."
Let’s review. Our essay writer was all:
And his first girlfriend was all:
Yeah, she used you. And messed with your head. Yeah it was complicated. Bro. If you’re going to write about losing your virginity, at least hook an admission counselor up with more details than “I’ll leave it at that”.
Last up, you know we had to pick out a poignant grammatical error.
Probably the most important relationship of my life will be with my friend _____. ______ is a lazy student to say the least. He does no homework at all. All he does at home is play on his computer, watch television and sleep. However, he still got good grades on testes because he paid attention in class.
He said “testes”. I’ll leave it at that.
Back tomorrow for College Fair Musings. Those of you traveling should be sending us photos of fairs, info cards, scantily and inappropriately dressed students and more!
First up today, an email full of questions…without any indication via punctuation that questions actually exist.
"Hi this is me Jamie again. . Enjoyed touring the campus this past spring break. In terms of sending this e-mail. I have been applying to possibly transfer there next fall. By all means other then the 40 dollar application fee and filling the application out is there anything else that needs to be done. As well what types of scholarships can I apply for. On top of that how can I get out of a hold of the speech teacher to talk about being apart of her speech team possibly."
By all means, we’re certainly not a career counselor by all means. But we do know that being a speech teacher is most certainly not in Jamie’s color wheel. Maybe it was the continuous use of prepositional phrases to end sentences. Maybe it was the flagrant disregard for proper grammar and correct usage of the following words: then, a hold, apart…
We all know how Admissions Problems feels about grammar. It’s an epidemic, people.
Does anyone else have the very realistic fear of what would happen to your personal safety should you connect a “student” like Jamie to a faculty member? We’re fairly certain all our ribosomes would be ripped apart (CORRECT USAGE), and we would leak cytoplasm all over ourselves.
Second up, a student trying to see where a little flattery gets him.
"Hello, I keep getting letters that you need my ACT score to make a decision on my application. I can’t afford to have my ACT score sent to an additional school at this moment. I took the ACT-Writing In February and recieved a composite score of 19. I truly want to attend (name of school) this fall. Thank you"
Again, dead giveaway on the reason you RECEIVED a 19 on the ACT Writing - that damn “i before e except after c” rule. Gets you everytime. Thank you for the flattery, but we’d really just prefer you complete your application. Then, we can deny you, and you fulfill your undeniable destiny in this process - padding our application numbers and making our acceptance rate look more selective. Kthanks. Bye.
Last up, we don’t even know.
I wanna go to your school. But im gonna go on my own terms. 1. I get first dibs at shower everday.2. I sit whereever i want whenever i want. 3. I will show up to class when I wanna be there. 4. If i find a faculty member attractive i get first dibs. 5. If im sleeping in class DONT WAKE ME!!! 6. Everyone must stand when i enter and leave the room. 7. If i find out ur sellin coke on school grounds i want in and i run the operation. 8. Every man will get left behind!!!!! There’s a hero in all of us. U ever seen college wit (insert student name)? Queer!!!!! Sent from my iPhone
There wasn’t really a question in there, but we were left confused and bewildered just the same. Strange. Best of luck in your future career, young, sleepy, irresponsible one, but our institutions (all of them collectively) are not the place for you. We hear the University of Phoenix is looking for revolutionaries…
Why was it necessary to shout “Queer!!!” at the end? Now there’s a questionable question.
Back tomorrow with your favorite and ours, Excerpts from Essays.
It’s been three months, and we’re back. We’re feeling particularly hopeful this Monday due in great part to the fact that travel season is around the corner. In late April, we would have wept openly when someone mentioned the words “Hampton Inn” or “Panera”, but fast-forward to present-day where we’ve spent all summer cooped up in our office with our “colleagues” listening to stories about each others’ summer vacations. We’re ready for Heavenly Beds, overspending our daily per diem and trying to discover new, clever ways to sneak alcohol into expense reports.
To look forward to good things to come, we must look back to April. Here is a Monday Mourning story from a reader on Facebook…
After years in admissions, I’m used to dealing with obnoxious, overbearing parents who seem to be clueless to the fact that their habitual calling, insane requests and condescending natural is doing nothing but actually hurting their child’s application and making me resent their child for existing and applying to my college. However, I had a particular mother that took all these qualities to the next level…
…So I’m sitting in my office and I overhear a new, fresh-out-of-college-and-doesn’t-want-to-hurt-anyone’s-feelings counselor kindly explaining to someone over the phone that no, we do not offer SUNDAY tours, and she’s not sure if she could find a tour guide for such a request. Such requests make me LIVID when 1) the family is within a 3 hour drive of the school, 2) their student is a junior. I mouthed to her to transfer the call to me so I could kindly set the caller straight.
BIG MISTAKE. First of all, the mother attempted to make me feel bad because I did not want to humor her very “reasonable” request. I explained that it was APRIL (aka admissions hell month), and the Sunday she was requesting was sandwiched between two campus admissions events AND finals week. This, however, is NOT what made this a truly crazy call.
She then, being curious about my institution, asked me how many HETEROSEXUAL MEN WE HAD ON CAMPUS. She explained “well, it’s just that we have visited a lot of art schools, and all the men on campus appear to be gay, and oh of course that’s fine we just want make sure there are other men on campus like my son, you know, straight.” It’s rare that I’m speechless in admissions—it’s our job to answer stupid questions and pretend they are not STUPID, but I audibly scoffed because I was truly speechless. I wanted to say “well did you see guys screwing in the quad at these art schools or just take a survey on your campus tour? And as for the breeders on our campus, well, they all start ‘straight’”…..
SO advice to parents, in case you were unaware, it’s fine to ask a college about their LGBTQ population on campus, particularly if your child is in that population and you want to ensure this a welcoming environment. It is NOT okay to ask if there are other straight kids like your special snowflake—it’s like asking if there are other white kids for my white kid to form a klan with. His mother is going to be destroyed when he brings his boyfriend home for thanksgiving….
We couldn’t have insulted or mocked parents better ourselves. And with that, we’re back where we left off. Still being amazed by parents’ audacity and lack of social grace (or boundaries). It’s a never-ending cycle, really.
Back tomorrow with Questionable Questions. Hit us up on the Facebook page, here on the blog or on Twitter with your best ones from this summer.
We admit it. Nothing incites the embers of our competitive edge more than someone who clearly and unabashedly steals our photos, logos, concepts, general thoughts and feelings and tries to pass them off as their own. Good riddance, Admissions Problems 2.0. You can’t replicate perfection, so it looks like we’re back to blogging.
Why didn’t we blog for almost three months? Here are our confessions.
WE DONE GOT SKURRED YALL.
Translation: We’re not afraid to admit it. All these articles start getting published about Admissions Problems, people are losing their jobs, reporters are blowing up our message box asking for interviews and commentary…
Yikes. We could literally feel the heat closing in on us. BUT we think we’ve effectively weathered out the storm. Or at least the first armband of a Katrina-esque squall. Either way.
We realize that we abandoned you now, especially in light of the Twitter frenzy today following our reemergence from the depths of a summer spent being somewhat productive (a practice that sits in direct opposition to every fiber of what summer is supposed to be). Summer can be a very transitional time of year in Admissions… those of you who’ve been in this field for at least TWO years know what we mean… hint, hint…
So, we’re back. NEW RULES.
1) We will no longer answer questions from high school students. If you want to know how to write a good college essay, talk to your guidance counselor. OR, NOVEL IDEA, drop an email to your admission counselor. Don’t expect a response though. Travel planning is all consuming.
Some of you high schoolers are nice kids and enjoy this blog. We tip our pseudopods to you. If you love Admissions Problems, please know in your heart that we support you and wish many blessings on your college applications.
2) We will NOT answer questions from parents. Your existence will only be referenced for blatant mockery, flagrant criticism and justification for using the F-word. And by F-word, we mean we fucking despise you. Unless you buy us Starbucks gift cards. Then, we tolerate you. Barely.
3) We will continue to post as we see fit in the following categories: Monday Mournings, Questionable Questions, Excerpts from Essays, and College Fair Musings. The general gif posts might work their way in, but if you’re really desperate, hit the “Random” button and think of those as “Admissions Problems Greatest Hits: Volumes I, II and III”.
4) You are more than welcome to submit photos, excerpts, ideas, and thoughts to the Facebook page, here on the blog or on Twitter. We don’t have an email address that we’re willing to share because one of you sneaky brats would trace an IP address. Which brings us to…
5) The preservation of this amoeba’s complete anonymity. Stop asking. Stop talking about it. If you ask, we will stop. We enjoy eating. And sleeping in a small, furnished, electrified dwelling. And drinking. Let’s not forget the drinking.
Are we all clear on the rules? We are wiping the message box clean, so we apologize to the 1,392 of you that will never get feedback from us. But please be comforted to know that we looked at each of your messages for approximately 0.02 seconds before hitting the trash can icon.
Game on. Blogging resumes on Monday with Monday Mournings. We need a story. Who has the best one from this summer?
Can you please stop ignoring my "ask" submissions and inform me how this blog generates revenue? I don't see ads nor do I see any way to create income. I'm confused as to how it is profitable for you.
This blog doesn’t generate revenue. We do this for free. We realize it’s hard to grasp that someone would dedicate this much time and effort for nothing tangible in return… but we already do that in our daily job, so…
In all honesty, we think all admission counselors out there needed a place to vent. Admissions Problems is that “watercooler” for us amoebas. We laugh at ourselves, we laugh at the funny moments of stupidity, we love all the feedback, we even love all the parents and highschoolers that read.
It’s just a place of fun. And poking fun. And we’re willing to do that for free.
I'm a senior and my mom applied to a school for me that I just honestly absolutely hate (and am pretty much guaranteed to get into). Is there anything I can do to make my application less attractive so I get rejected?
Step 1: Call and cancel application at the school.
I'm a senior admission officer at a school on the West Coast. I've been reading this blog since it started--I find it funny and sad and amazing all at the same time. I shared the link with my staff, because I know they all appreciate being able to share a laugh with someone who "gets it" sometimes. So keep on keeping on. I think counselors and students should take the advice on this blog in the spirit in which it's offered. If they'd read this, rather than bitch, they'd be better off!
i love it when applicants rewrite their name in the suffix section. ex: first name: shit last name: motherfucker middle name: poop suffix: shitmotherfuckerpoop seriously google this shit graduate students....
Seriously cannot breathe right now. Pure brilliance.
Sooo... I know you probably won't tell and the admissions deadline has probably passed, but this blog has actually made me want to apply to the school you work for (even as a transfer next year). If it'll make you any more inclined to disclose which school that is, I have a 1460 SAT score and am a National Merit Finalist. *wink wink* Btw, I love your blog and the fact that I have yet to find anything I've done on my own applications ridiculed here.
Is this offer still on the table?
If it helps you make a decision, while cleaning out the inbox, we apparently work at the following colleges:
ASU (This could be a lot of different schools. Way to get specific, messager.)
A school where all the counselors prefer to stay at Motel 6 to be “funny” while traveling. We don’t know who the hell would do this, but we tell you with gusto that the practice of staying at a Motel 6 voluntarily is entirely NOT FUNNY.
We hope you made a good decision in the end. Good luck this fall. Thanks for reading.
I am a senior in high school and I have received both acceptance and rejection letters. This page is like stalking an ex on twitter to see what they're up to after a decision. It's horribly addicting. I don't know whether to say good job to you all or not, because it is a guilty pleasure.
This is fantastic. Probably one of our favorite comments from a high schooler this year.
We hope you found the right school for you in the end. Thanks for reading.
How is it that millennials can be so good at computers and the Internet, but not have the common GD sense to use both of them to find answers to their questions when they are readily available on our Web site?
We feel your pain. Sadly, we’ve been busier than expected the last few weeks. That’s what happens when you don’t make your class and immediately start scrambling admitting kids from your waitlist.
Here’s our new approach. We think the gif thing has gotten a little old, right? So, instead, we’re going to get back to our usual posts:
Excerpts from Essays
College Fair Musings
We’re excited about it. We’ll throw you the occassional gif every now and again when we feel it appropriate.
Now, to a larger issue at hand:
As much as we find it amusing that high school students want our advice, we have almost 1000 messages in our inbox asking our advice on how to get off waitlists, how to write the perfect college essay, blah blah blah, whine whine whine.
Unless you want us to put a PayPal link on here to help supplement our already meager salary, we’re not answering work-ish questions on this blog. This is our “us” time, kids. We wouldn’t want to leave you without the hand-holding you so desperately need though, so here’s our advice. When you have one of these questions that you want a REAL answer to, go to your admission counselor, lean in real close, slip them a Pocket Shot and $20 and tell them you read Admissions Problems. Guaranteed good advice coming your way.