May 2013
17 posts
FEELING LOVED
We scoured about 250 inbox questions tonight, and we have to give you all a big thank you for the ego boost found among your messages. Despite the busy spring, we appreciate you hanging in there.
There were quite a few questions about our identity in light of the UPenn article this spring, so we thought a little picslip was an appropriate display of gratitude. So, here we are:
If you look...
Anonymous asked: Can you please stop ignoring my "ask" submissions and inform me how this blog generates revenue? I don't see ads nor do I see any way to create income. I'm confused as to how it is profitable for you.
Anonymous asked: I'm a senior and my mom applied to a school for me that I just honestly absolutely hate (and am pretty much guaranteed to get into). Is there anything I can do to make my application less attractive so I get rejected?
Anonymous asked: I'm a senior admission officer at a school on the West Coast. I've been reading this blog since it started--I find it funny and sad and amazing all at the same time. I shared the link with my staff, because I know they all appreciate being able to share a laugh with someone who "gets it" sometimes. So keep on keeping on. I think counselors and students should take the advice on...
Anonymous asked: Are you a moron? Looking forward to you getting outed (and fired). I will enjoy the irony of you going back to school to try to become "marketable." Until then, enjoy $42k, loser.
Anonymous asked: Are you from Wright State University...?
Anonymous asked: i love it when applicants rewrite their name in the suffix section. ex: first name: shit last name: motherfucker middle name: poop suffix: shitmotherfuckerpoop seriously google this shit graduate students....
Anonymous asked: Let me know if you work at one of these schools. You don't have to reveal which one: Cleveland State, Case Western, John Carroll. love ya, anon adcom <3
Anonymous asked: Sooo... I know you probably won't tell and the admissions deadline has probably passed, but this blog has actually made me want to apply to the school you work for (even as a transfer next year). If it'll make you any more inclined to disclose which school that is, I have a 1460 SAT score and am a National Merit Finalist. *wink wink* Btw, I love your blog and the fact that I have yet to...
Anonymous asked: I am a senior in high school and I have received both acceptance and rejection letters. This page is like stalking an ex on twitter to see what they're up to after a decision. It's horribly addicting. I don't know whether to say good job to you all or not, because it is a guilty pleasure.
Anonymous asked: How would you have reacted if a bunch of student protestors invaded an admissions event, telling students about the universities sexism/racism/homophobia a la Dartmouth?
Anonymous asked: How is it that millennials can be so good at computers and the Internet, but not have the common GD sense to use both of them to find answers to their questions when they are readily available on our Web site?
Anonymous asked: update damn you
4 tags
WHEN MY FAVORITE ADMITS DECIDE TO GO TO ANOTHER...
At first, I’m like:
But…
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CONFERENCE AWARD CEREMONIES
People are like:
But I’m like:
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HAPPY MAY 1ST!
A May 1st Poem
From us to you on this day of days.
Tis May 1st today
We hope deposits will come
Flowing into the office
Before the day’s done
We will do one of two things
As numbers reveal
And the boss reminds us
The art of sealing the deal
The first is celebration
A jubilant time
For deposits are plentiful
And numbers will rise
Low deposits mean crying
Up under our desk
With a bottle...
April 2013
17 posts
4 tags
PERFORMANCE REVIEWS
To the boss:
But really…
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WHEN GRADUATING SENIORS APPLY FOR OPENINGS IN OUR...
On the outside, I’m like:
On the inside, I’m like:
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MAY 1ST IS TOMORROW
2 tags
ON THE CRAZIEST NOTE EVER
Praise be, our inbox overfloweth. We have 934 messages. Help us, Tom Cruise.
Considering a summer intern for mail services and inquiry answering.
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WHEN I GET INVITES FOR FALL COLLEGE FAIRS
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ACCEPTED STUDENT PROGRAMS
What I hope they’re like:
What they’re actually like:
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WHEN THE BOSS OFFERS YOU A NEW TERRITORY
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2 DAYS AND COUNTING
This is us:
Know the feeling? April needs to die a quick effing death. May 1st is just two, small, little, tiny, miniscule, measly days away. Parents and students have been killing us with the last-minute decision craziness.
Can we have the scholarship that Joey Bill gave up? We know he turned you down yesterday.
Where do we buy XL twin bed sheets?! Can you email us a list of local stores...
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WHEN THE BOSS SENDS YOU AN EMAIL ON FRIDAY NIGHT
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TOURS FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL GROUPS
DEAR SUZY WEISS
We’ve been largely absent from mainstream social media for the past several weeks, due in large part to answering phone calls and emails from angry parents, guidance counselors, and second-cousins (twice-removed) that were recently denied to our school. And while that sounds like tremendous fun, it was not. We’ve had our fair share of the following in the past two weeks:
* Can you...
Anonymous asked: I wish I found your blog before I finished applying to college. There's always grad school I suppose...
4 tags
CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS ABOUT FINANCIAL AID
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WHEN PARENTS CALL TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR KIDS...
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WHEN A MOM EMAILS THE BOSS SAYING I NEVER RETURNED...
THIS SPRING
Replace “evening” with “every fucking day of March and what appears to be every fucking day of April even though it’s only been one day of April”.
We all know how it is. Decisions are out. (Lack of) Financial aid has hit mailboxes and inboxes. We have a late night every other evening and an accepted student open house every other Saturday. Everyone and their best...
4 tags
WHEN VISITORS ARE STILL IN OUR OFFICE PAST 5PM
March 2013
20 posts
4 tags
WHEN WE GET TO START WEARING SPRING AND SUMMER...
Dreaming on such a winter’s day.
HELL SEASON
If we’re trying to be uber-sensitive here (as has been requested of us recently), this is a season filled with fun as well. We get to see our favorites admitted, our least favorites (or vast unknowns) denied, financial aid get stretched as thin as it can go, and eat as many meals on the school’s dime as possible due to extensive spring programming.
But all the fun that is March and...
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WHEN I FOUND OUT WE'RE GETTING GOOD FRIDAY OFF
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WHEN SOMEONE GETS A PROMOTION IN THE OFFICE
Sensing a theme today?
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WHEN I APPLIED FOR ANOTHER JOB ON CAMPUS
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WHEN A PARENT TELLS US WE'RE MISSING OUT ON THEIR...
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WHEN THE CAMPUS IS ON SPRING BREAK
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OVERHEARING THE BOSS SAY WE'RE GETTING A DAY OFF...
Still in recovery but doing better. Posts coming your way today and hopefully all week.
DEATH IS COMING
Sorry loyal followers. Even Admissions Problems gets sick. We should be back to posting this weekend/next week.
4 tags
WHEN ARTS STUDENTS ASK WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR IN...
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PRE-PAID COLLEGE TUITION PLANS
A big thanks to all those states that make me deal with this BS.
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WHEN SOMEONE POINTS OUT THAT IM REALLY FAR BEHIND...
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WHEN A PARENT TRIES TO POINT TO SOMETHING ON MY...
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WHEN VISITORS WANT TO TAKE TOURS IN THE FREEZING...
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WHEN A DAD PRE-PAYS FOR FOUR YEARS OF TUITION
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ADMISSION COMMITTEE MEETINGS
