Admissions Problems

no, your kid isn't special at all actually...

MAY

The boss is like:

But we’re like:

WE SUCK

When was the last time we posted on here? Was that really Thanksgiving? REALLY? When was November? FOUR MONTHS AGO? The hell, you say.

Anyone else drowning in application reading?

Anyone else sick of horrible essays? We can barely get through the first sentence anymore without taking a photo of the first line or extracting some obscure quote and emailing it out to all our friends - admissions-related or not. We’ve started to learn that muggles find Excerpts from Essays just as entertaining as us witches and wizards. 

But we know we can always lean on all of you. Because you understand our plight. After a night of mind-numbing essays, we can’t process anything witty or funny. We do our best to stumble around our humble petri dish angrily grunting monosyllabic needs:

"Beer"

"Soup"

"Eat"

"Bed"

"Clock"

Let’s collectively make a list of all the dumbest essay topics of this season! Replies turned on for a limited time for our collective entertainment! 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

It’s not Friday through Tuesday, but you still get the picture.

Today, we’re thankful for:

Loyal readers and followers. Thanks for sticking with us and understanding what this blog is all about.

Great applicants who are worthy of admissions.

Parents who are NOT annoying (note: these parents are as elusive as Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster combined).

Essays that are less than a page long but actually interesting.

Schools that run on semesters and have easy-to-read transcripts.

Hampton Inn Heavenly Beds and the Hilton brand.

Our amoebic families and friends that still have no idea that we write this blog but don’t shun or criticize us when we’re tucked behind our phones and computers during evenings and weekends. Luckily, they just think we’re working (insert hysterical laughter here).

We wish all of you a very happy Thanksgiving. Overall, we hope you remember the most special part of today - sheer consumerism. For those of us with small bank accounts and big ambition, Black Friday is manna from heaven. Throw an elbow if you have to, Amoebas. Good luck out there.